Crown recognition Secret Virgin

What is the meaning of virginity for you?

Why are so desperately wanted women who have not tarnished, sejengkalpun untouched by another man.

Why are we so mean all of it for me.

Want to women who have not been touched by a raging appetite.

Has not been embraced by the arms of a blind, have not been kissed by a venomous mouths.

Moreover, to tear her virginity cortex.

Weight for men who accept women who have touched.

Do your lips ever kissed?

Be honest to say you ever kissed.

Your lips never dikulum in wet noise.

Though a kiss was just a one-time.

And never again after that now. Then he told me in tears.

"Since then continue membayangiku guilt.

When that feeling did not want to go near a woman again.

Whether the person is my boyfriend kissed me?

I do not regard it as a dating relationship.

But maybe you call it dating.

Anyway she told me she had a boyfriend.

But long-distance relationship. So he was very lonely. "

Would not want you to have to accept that past.

That's not a dream scene in the form of a fantasy.

The past is real.

Padamau occur.

You honestly admit that your lips are not a virgin anymore.

"The only time I kiss on the lips of women who either love me or not I do not know.

At that time only for a night so cold and desire berjolak.

Circumstances that make my soul out of control. "

"Another teenage delinquency is ... ah I'm ashamed to call it.

Why I could not control my soul turmoil.

My curiosity was unbearable.

Because it would not blindly channeled.

Ah, I'm so ashamed of my past.

I had breast fondle women.

Panting breath when doing the deed.

But it did just a few times.

Not more than ten times.

I did just a moment.

Women were mostly silent as though each enjoyed it.

Shame ... shame .. Did not I tell the truth it all. "

"Now there is no longer a lump in my heart.

There is something uncomfortable if you have not said bluntly.

Shame was unsaid nothing could kujelasan event details.

I just slapped their breasts.

Unlike the stories of my friends who fondle breasts down to her clothes, right down to the bra strap.

Crazy adventures of my soul, lust peers may be even crazier. "

"A little from me as if terihat good and pious, devout in religion was never committed indecent acts.

So naturally when my mate later on his past never touched her breasts by a mischievous boy.

Although it did not receive, that is the fruit of my behavior past as a teenager.

If you really want a pair now that the holy life untouched by the NII sejengkalpun the men, it's not fair.

Its good to bad is good for the poor, the rest for the remainder.

I have noticed.

All that is past as kenakalanku on a woman. "

What else should you open the valve that your past.

Is there more that have not been erased from the memory that I write?

"There is another possible, as I have not entered elementary school.

It was still very little ever diajakin 'nookie' by a woman who was a dozen years old.

Understandably when I was a child still napping with a woman who was a virgin. Yes because I'm still considered a child.

But I still remember, I have strong memories. "

Why are you laughing?

"I do not know what it is, but I remember I was pinned shut by a woman, my body crushed stone.

I do not feel anything, either enter or not I do not know.

Because it was not felt.

Yet children are still being raped kencur smell. "

"I think-I think the women had been raped by a dozen years.

Some where she is now.

Will kuhajar him.

So digagahi to child.

Did I not single anymore, I do not know my past like that.

Why is that when I do not know the correct set one, can and can not, my behavior is bad and bad is not what I want. "

"If I now realize what to do, because it's all past.

Like all of a sudden I was born into this earth.

Who would want me to be born through the international mother's womb.

Why I could be born.

Why I was born into the world of ordinary families.

Why was I born in the land of Indonesia, not in the other hemisphere.

Why appearance and body shape like this.

Why I was born as a human being not an animal.

Why is my past like this.

Why is my future, why akau go to heaven or hell. Why, why, why .... ? "

You cry?

"Beitulah destiny to live.

Many things beyond the control of myself.

Now all I say shame, shame, from the lightest to the heaviest of the most telling.

Indecent acts, sexual offenses are now wants kuperangi of the lives of children and young people today. "

"It is children and youth have always wanted to try, and if there is sodium absorption ratio mengarahkanya steps they will get lost like me.

I'm supposed to do so and thus I'm past it now.

No more cover-ups sekecilpun. "

"Suppose that there are not told from what I remember about my past, all that remains of my memory will soon tell you.

To be honest I wanted to tell you the truth.

Look at me now without artificial.

Now I just want to be better.

Want to erase everything on my best behavior kenistaanku with time left. "

"So do not deserve if I said that I was good.

Anyway who's to say either.

If someone were to say so, he not only act bejadku know.

I'm not a holy man and did not deserve the sacred.

Deserve prayers not granted daoaku God. "

"Steps for the future is uncertain, betrayed woman, I kept stupid and easily fooled.

Because I was covered with sin.

Perhaps the unpardonable sins.

I do not feel self-righteous and pretentious already doing and giving everything to someone else.

So why did I not cry if it is admitted bejadku deeds.

Am I not 'repent Nasuha'?

"We have no tears I confess the sin and guilt.

How and why would again expect more than others, a holy woman if I'm not a saint.

I just beg the Lord may God forgive me. "

"If I was left by my Lord, I hope to anyone else.

Twists should hang it in my life who else.

Why I'm so and so I do not know.

I do not want to betray my Lord.

But the story of my childhood, my past do not want to repeat. "

"My hope only on you, Lord.

Give this servant of peace and spaciousness.

Sukakanlah my heart, my soul beningkanlah.

I expect the pleasure of thy servant give rest stared my future, my family who want to build.

Show me the straight path. Apart from my works in vain. "

"Duhai matahatiku that can illuminate the soul.

Diterimakah I was full of shame and stigma.

You already know my past is dirty.

Masihkah I received?

It was not you but I am a dirty, dirty.

If you are going to find a better man and holy, I menyilakanmu.

I deserve not owned by you.

Because I'm dirty, and you holy.

I just wanted to say I love you all my heart, deep into my soul. I can honestly say this. "

"If you do not ever err-no when the bloom of youth, I accepted it as your past.

I took you all the good and bad.

Good and bad was just past.

I am proud to have loved you.

Why would I continue to expect first love while my behavior is not comparable with current kekhilafanmu.

I beg your forgiveness and for mercy on the Lord. "

"Suppose kekhilafanku greater than kekhilafanmu, hopefully I get a reward of patience.

If on the contrary may God give you patience, accepting what is.

I am so grateful to have you.

We leave our past. We face the future together. "

"We wake Mahligai a respectable family.

Our students so that our children's children menjad useful, we continue the struggle, the pride of our family, nation and religion.

I sincerely receive you as they are there. May we be better on the altar of the full moon. "

Mengataan sorry that you have everything?

Why talk about your shame, instead of having covered all our shame?

"I just want to be honest with myself."